I have thought often of the small Rumi poem:

What does it matter that we have been sleeping?
We are groggy,
But let go of the guilt.
Feel the motions of tenderness all around you,
The buoyancy.

My mother is now home from the acute and rehab hospitals and is continuing rehabilitation through a home health program. She is doing surprisingly well.

Just by chance I recently read a remarkable children’s book by Wendell Berry. It is called WHITEFOOT and tells my mother’s story (and perhaps everyone’s story) through a beautifully magical allegory about a little mouse who is swept away by a flood.

My mother has been sleeping a lot — well and deeply — since she has been home. I have written out and pasted on her bedroom door the following sentence from this little book:

“Her sleep was an act of faith and a giving of thanks.”

May this be true for all of us.

I also want to thank those of you following through on the plan to send the Buddha design note cards to men in our Berlin prison sangha. Landon Hall and Barbara Woodard did a lovely job of giving a sense of those individual men to our Monday sitting group. We hope to continue sending cards to the men on a monthly basis. If you are interested in participating, please let one of us know.

I want to offer another deep bow of gratitude, this time to those of you who have recently supported our Valley Insight Meditation Society financially by becoming active members of the community. Your contributions add to the possibility and the reality of our continuing
Sangha, as well as to the cohesiveness and the faith that is made real in our shared effort of living the practice and teachings.

New Years is often a time when we think about our intentions and our wishes for ourselves and for others, a time to review and reflect on commitments. The lunar New Year also falls in January this year, on the 24th. Tibetan Buddhists consider this the most auspicious of all days for the hanging of prayer flags, and through them, the sending of our deepest aspirations out on the winds to all the nooks and crannies of the earth.

Toni Bernard has written about living the teachings of Dhamma into the difficult situations of our lives in a powerful book, HOW TO BE SICK. She recently posted a short piece on-line titled “New Year’s Resolutions the Buddha Might Have Made.” It’s aimed at people who have little familiarity with the dharma, but it is wise and thought provoking for experienced practitioners as well. You can find it at:

http://tinyurl.com/893hqub

What is your own most heart-felt wish or aspiration? How does it relate to your practice and your understanding of these teachings?

The northern hemisphere has just experienced its darkest time, at least for now, and light is increasing; the seemingly endless cycling of the 10 thousand joys and the 10 thousand sorrows continues. Notice the joys, as well perhaps as the sorrows, with gratitude. Someone sent me an old Charlie Brown cartoon with Charlie and Snoopy holding hands and dancing wildly. The caption read, “What if today we were grateful for everything?”

All best wishes for a happy and peaceful new year as we collectively continue to lean in the direction of “calmly and kindly noticing change,”

Doreen

With these reflections, we began our monthly Sangha* gathering this past Saturday at the Northern NH Correctional Facility for Men in Berlin, NH. The nine men sharing their thoughts had been encouraged to sit with and consider the felt-sense of “solitude” over this past month as the word is used in verse 205 in the Dhammapada:

Tasting the flavor of solitude
And the nectar of peace,
Those that drink the joy
that is the essence of  reality
abide free from evil.

In their pared down lives, solitary confinement is probably the strongest punishment held out against these men for any wrongs they may commit while incarcerated, a greater isolation within the already isolating framework of the prison experience itself. Many of the men in the group have tasted this punishment, referred to as “the shoe”; but we all knew we were talking about something else in our discussion on Saturday, something other than being cast out of the community.

One of the Valley Insight volunteers present in the group brought up the feeling of loneliness that can be experienced as an aspect of solitude. It has the feeling of being separate, alone. In this regard we discussed the felt-sense of disconnection and of connection and their relation to suffering and freedom. The Tibetan Buddhist’s define the complexity of emotion within a spectrum that goes from the “neurotic pattern” to the “realized wisdom.” Perhaps loneliness is the neurotic pattern of solitude, which arises when conditioned by self-centeredness and/or shame, whereas the solitude that is fed by compassion and wise understanding gives rise to a deep peace and boundless freedom.

The prison Sangha in Berlin, which is a recognized Buddhist practice and study group at the facility under the auspices of the chaplain, has been meeting for over seven and half years. Currently three of us from the Valley Insight Community – myself, Barbara Woodard and Landon Hall — travel two and half hours each way every month to enable the gathering. A fairly recent revision of prison rules does not allow the men to gather as a formal group without outside leadership. Some of the men attending – anywhere from 9 to 14 each month – have been coming for many years. Others come for several years and then move into the process of release or are transferred to other facilities. The monthly meetings and the felt-sense of Sangha (community) that continues as the men see one another during the month is immensely important to them. It helps foster the internal conditions that support the realized wisdom aspect of solitude along with a growing sense of connection to others and to their own goodness.

From a Buddhist perspective a Sangha is a group of people working wisely and kindly together in the direction of freedom, i.e. in the creation of less suffering in their lives and in the lives of others. Once, when his main attendant Ananda made the statement that having noble friends was perhaps half of the holy life, the Buddha purportedly said, “Say not so, Ananda, having noble friends in the Dhamma is the whole of the spiritual life.”

The word in the Pali language for spiritual friend is “Kalyana-Mitta,” one who wishes for and works for our well-being. This prison Sangha is a part of the larger Sangha/Kalyana-Mitta that is Valley Insight Meditation Society, in much the same way that the Monday night, Wednesday evening, Thursday morning and Sunday groups are. We often remind the men of this relationship, and it enhances their sense of connection to a larger group that is committed to the same spiritual path. In reflecting on ways to strengthen this sense of a shared journey and thereby, wise solitude; we have had the idea of having members of Valley Insight send our Buddha note cards to the men. We have 12 designs available. Perhaps over the course of a 12- week period (or longer) each man could receive one of each with a brief note.

This would not entail becoming an ongoing correspondent with any of the men. We have a separate part of our prison program that is just that. (If you are interested in knowing more about this please contact me.) Instead, this card-sending effort would be simply a one-time outreach with a friendly note letting them know that there are Sangha members (Kalyana-Mittas) thinking of them and wishing them well. The men are allowed only a limited amount of books and material, but they are able to receive unlimited correspondence. A brief note along with the card’s image of and verse from the Buddha will be a bright spot.

As the full logistics of this “card shower” are in the process of being worked out, we will be bringing cards to each of our regular groups over the next few weeks along with a list of men who have given us permission to send them cards. This will get things started. The return address on the card will be the Valley Insight post office box. If you’d like to be involved but don’t come regularly to a group, you could contact me directly.

The three of us who currently visit in the prison once a month and those who have gone in the past often reflect upon importance of the prison group in our own practice and understanding. We have developed a deep sense of connecting with these spiritual friends. They are people who are wise and intentional in their thoughts and actions and who are transforming before our eyes. There is a mutual appreciation and respect; and there is joy and laughter as we consider profound subjects and practice together in silence. This is, of course, true throughout the Valley Insight Sangha, isn’t it?

And so, I offer to each of us, those in prison and that not in prison, a deep bow of gratitude and the familiar invitation to “keep calmly and kindly knowing change” together.

Peace and all best wishes as the season changes and the year turns over,

Doreen

* From a Buddhist perspective a Sangha is a group of people working wisely and kindly together in the direction of freedom, i.e. in the creation of less suffering in their lives and in the lives of others.

We have decided to include links to two articles by Paul Fleischsman in this newsletter. Both appeared in the Barre Center’s INSIGHT JOURNAL. One, printed right on the heels of 9/11, is titled, “The Buddha taught Nonviolence, not Pacifism”; the ideas presented offer possible ways of relating to the attacks on the World Trade Centers. The second was published several years later and is called, “The Buddha Did Not Teach Buddhism.” The author of these articles is a practicing psychiatrist and a teacher in the Goenka tradition of Insight Meditation. Interestingly, he has also written a book of poetry with the suggestive title, YOU CAN NEVER SPEAK UP TOO OFTEN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS.

Our Monday night sitting group is reading a book called, “The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World,” by Donald Rothberg, in which the author weaves together basic spiritual teachings, real-life examples, social context, and exercises. I haven’t read the book; but a recent discussion with some who have led me to suggest that they take a look at these two articles, both of which have been important in my understanding of activism in light of the Buddha’s teaching. We then decided to share the articles with the larger group through the newsletter with the hope that Fleischman’s ideas would help all of us in our attempts to develop a wise understanding in regard to the challenging events and political confusions in our world today.

Election campaigns are underway in this country. Next year we vote for a president, ideally a relatively wise, informed leader to guide us. We all know personally the heat and undeniable stress of anger and fear in this process. What shall we do?

The final paragraphs of Fleischman’s second article have an abiding meaning in my life in this regard. He wrote: “Dhamma encourages wakeful, thoughtful, personal choices out of which we build our own and our society’s future. We can use Dhamma as our global positioning system, our self reflecting mirror and guide on our somber and creative human trek… At the applied level, the Vipassana meditation that the Buddha taught leads to direct contact with the vibrations at the subatomic matrix of the changing world – the vibrations of love and compassion, the vibrations of ignorance, hate, and fear. To fully walk the Path, we must jettison our clinging to views, our textual search for soothing answers, and plunge into … direct awareness of reality beneath transient forms….

“When we will learn perfect attunement to it, we will walk the Path as the Buddha did, vigorously nonviolent, relentlessly compassionate, palpably relevant to our times and to all times, and aware that we will still leave behind us the ongoing sorrows of the world.”

Sharon Salzberg is purported to have said, in relation to some past political turmoil: “This is samsara [i.e., a world fueled by greed, hatred and delusion]; it is not to supposed to work…”

Almost in the same voice, Sylvia Boorstein reminds us of a sign she once saw, posted on the wall of a retreat center: “Life is so difficult how can we be anything but kind.”

May we all find our way to this depth of kindness, towards ourselves as well as towards others, while at the same time working wisely, wholeheartedly, and steadfastly in the service of the lives of all beings.

“I don’t have a message. My message is my life.” (Ghandi)

“Continue with care.” (Buddha)

Peace and best wishes,
Doreen

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Links to the Fleischman Articles:

From Barre Center for Buddhist Study’s Insight Journal. The first was written immediately after 9/11 (Spring 2002 issue). The second in ’05. Both by Paul Fleischman.

The Buddha Taught Nonviolence, Not Pacifism
http://www.dharma.org/ij/archives/2002a/nonviolence.htm

The Buddha Did Not Teach Buddhism
http://www.dharma.org/ij/archives/documents/InsightJournal_Fall-05.pdf

Imagine the brown-robed sweetness of Ajahn Metta, a visiting Buddhist nun, kneeling and bowing three times on the cement floor of the prison chapel in the Northern New England Correctional Facility in Berlin, New Hampshire. It was a stunning moment for all those present. The incongruity with prison protocol, the archetypal ancientness, and the full-bodied courage of this simple act of faith riveted our attention and immediately softened our hearts. Sister proceeded by voicing an aspiration for the liberation of all of us and then lit the candle to formally begin our monthly 3-hour practice time with this northern-most sitting group of our Valley Insight Meditation Society. We chanted the requesting and receiving of the Refuges and took the 5 Precepts together; then sitting and walking practice began.

It was an amazing day in which one could feel the roots of the Dhamma deepening within this setting. Afterwards, Sister expressed her heart-felt appreciation to the men – appreciation for the great effort shown in the depth of their practice and their understanding, as well as gratitude for their opening so sincerely to her presence. The men in turn expressed their gladness with her visit. They were beaming. She promised to return. All of our faces were radiant. The joy accompanied us as we traveled home through a harrowing snow/rain/ice storm – scared at times, working together to see through the white-outs, chanting the Metta Sutta with playful riffs, laughing. We made it home safely, mindfully and happily through an extraordinary day spent with an extraordinary woman.

Peace and best wishes,

Doreen

Gloria Taraniya Ambrosia, who was in town to lead the meditation/workshop on clinging the day before, was able to stay for the film and facilitate the discussion. She is an ordained lay minister under the auspices of this monastery and had just returned from a visit there. Taraniya has spent many years of practice in the British monasteries in the Ajahn Chah lineage; Abhaygiri is in this tradition. She spoke to us of the Buddha’s wisdom in creating what is known as the “four-fold sangha”; that is laymen and women practitioners and monastic men and women practitioners in interdependent relationship. Those people interviewed in the documentary represented three of these four “folds.”

One man who has lived near the monastery for many years said that, although the access to Dhamma teachings is definitely of great value to him, of deepest importance is the direct joyful experience he has almost daily through his offering organic vegetables from his garden to the monks. Walking up the road to the monastery with a basket of fresh vegetables “is enough”, he reported. He said he would feel something was missing in his life if there weren’t a monastery nearby.

A young monk spoke eloquently of life in the monastery where, he realized, he has simply traded his “college suffering” for “monastery suffering.” Through much greater awareness on his part of these ongoing mental habits and views that lead to suffering, they have been transformed while being held within the context of his deepening understanding of Dhamma in his experience at Abhayagiri.

We showed FEARLESS MOUNTAIN to the men in our prison Sangha last month. Afterwards they were speaking of what was similar in monastic life to their experience in a prison and what was not, when one man said, “What is different is that they chose to be there, and we didn’t choose to be here.” Other men began to agree with the statement, but one older, long-time prison resident interrupted softly and kindly, “I have to disagree. All of us chose to be here, in prison. Our very actions, decisions and intentions have led us here.” This understanding of Karma as cause and effect, i.e. that our actions have an effect in this world, has been allowing a deep healing to emerge for this man. Once we own our actions and intentions, we can objectively look and see: Are they wise or unwise? With this kind of reflection, they begin to change. We all agreed that the decision to become a monk had had more wisdom than the choices that led to prison; we also agreed that the prison can become a place of transformation.

The young monk’s realizations about suffering in and out of the monastery and the older prisoner’s thoughts both remind me of a story told by Jack Kornfield. When he arrived at the door of a monastery in Thailand asking to be allowed to become a novice monk, the Thai Buddhist teacher Ajahn Chah asked him if he were prepared to suffer because, he said, “Here we teach the suffering that leads to the end of suffering.” Mindful awareness transitions suffering (whether we become aware of it in a monastic setting, a prison or our daily life) into faith, an abiding commitment to practice and wise reflection; and in this way, to wisdom and liberation. Monasteries provide an intense and specific laboratory for wisdom to arise, both for those who are in the institution and for those of us who participate, support, witness and are inspired by the process.

Along with the realization of the roots of our suffering, we also become more familiar with the happiness of giving vegetables and the moments of letting go of what we thought we knew, what we thought we were– those times of non-suffering in our lives. The joy of the monks of FEARLESS MOUNTAIN is contagious. It is a happy place and a happy film.

When she was asked why she chose to spend so much time at the monasteries, Taraniya said that in living her life she wants to create the conditions for the best in her to arise and that the monastery does this for her. This is another wise understanding of Karma (and a wonderful example of non-attachment to self-view as solid, consistent and unchangeable): How we behave, speak and think in any moment is created and conditioned. Last Sunday one sangha member spoke of the beauty of her home and its natural surrounding as being conducive to peace of mind and ease of heart. Though she stated that sometimes she feels guilty about having access to this, we all reflected on the importance of creating a safe and comfortable place for ourselves when possible. Wise contentment (“wise” meaning that it is held with an understanding of the 4 noble truths, Karma, impermanence, suffering and emptiness) is conducive of greater wisdom, compassion and happiness.

FEARLESS MOUNTAIN doesn’t show the fourth fold of the four-fold sangha, i.e. nuns – monastic women, simply because it has only monks in residence at this time. As you will see elsewhere in this newsletter, we do have Ajahn Metta, a Buddhist nun from the Ajahn Chah order, coming to visit and lead our Monday sitting group on June 28th. This will be a wonderful opportunity to have contact with a woman who has chosen to devote her life to realization of the promise of the Buddha’s teaching – peace, kindness, love, liberation. She too has spent much time at the British monasteries and some at Abhayagiri practicing in the direction of “fearless mountain.”

Though we in the Upper Valley are very fortunate to have a number of practice and study centers very near and a monastery in the Ajahn Chah tradition in Ontario, we don’t have a Buddhist monastery nearby. Sitting with Ajahn Metta will allow us to touch the ancient, current and ever-evolving relationship of Buddhist lay and monastic practitioners, which has a great deal to do with “a timeless message of hope for the modern world.”

May you enjoy the light of the solstice and the dawning of summer.

Peace and best wishes,
Doreen

Wise Intention is the second path factor of the Eightfold Path, which is the 4th Noble Truth, the Truth which is to be cultivated. Often in the Suttas, the Buddha speaks of the heart or mind that “inclines, slopes, slants and leans” towards freedom. This leaning of the increasingly liberated heart towards wisdom and kindness is due to the power of Wise Intention fueled by the Wise Effort of Wise Mindfulness and Wise Concentration as well as by Wise Intention’s synergistic relationship with Wise Speech, Wise Action and Wise Livelihood. In the hologram that is the Eightfold Path, good intentions, in relationship with the other path factors, do not “pave the way to hell”, but instead mobilize us on the path to freedom.

The Dalai Lama, when asked how he stays calm in threatening situations, affirmed this understanding of intention’s power with his answer: “My sincere motivation is my protection.”

“Neuroscience tells us that setting an intention ‘primes’ our nervous system to be on the lookout for whatever will support what we intend…” In his book THE MINDFUL BRAIN, Daniel Siegel talks about the effect paying ‘attention to intention’ has on our brain and thus our experience of our surroundings. He writes, “Intentions create an integrated state of priming, a gearing up of our neural system to be in the mode of that specific intention: we can be readying to receive, to sense, to focus, to behave in a certain manner.” This suggests that when we pay attention to the intention “[…] we are more likely to notice the [relevant] actions, opportunities, people, and things…” (James Baraz in AWAKENING JOY).

In Buddhist teachings, there are three categories of Unwise Intentions: greed, hatred and cruelty or harming. The three categories of Wise Intention are: Non-greed, non-hatred, and non-cruelty. We could frame these in a more positive light as renunciation and generosity; good will and friendliness; and compassion and kindness. These are the intentions we are encouraged to cultivate. An important aspect of cultivating them is to notice in our direct experience when they are and are not present – to notice with interest and without reactive judgment – so that clarity and honesty can guide the body and mind on its path to freedom. This is the role of mindfulness.

Another way to cultivate Wise Intention is through the concentrative meditation practices of Metta (loving friendliness) and Karuna (compassion). Through the silent repetition of phrases in the quiet, reflective mind, we plant the habit seeds of future action. In Buddhist teachings, there are three ways we act in the world: through thought speech and action. The three are deeply related and influence one another in often surprisingly habituated ways. Each kind of action is preceded by intention. Intention leads to action; action leads to habit; habit leads to disposition or inclination. Inclination, of course, colors intention and so on. Whispering Metta and Karuna as words and ideas into the soft heart can began to give new shape to this process.

The Tibetan New Year is held to be a particularly auspicious day for hanging prayer flags. Prayer flags are both metaphors for and expressions of intentions. The Tibetan prayer flags we see in photos of India and Nepal and those we can purchase locally have words in Sanskrit printed on them expressing loving kindness, compassion, and peace –essentially wishes for well-being in the world. When the prayers are hung they can blow freely into the wind and cover the world. Unlike the prayers in a theistic tradition, these prayers are supplications to power higher than the human heart, but understood as potential forces in supplanting the intentions of greed, hatred and cruelty – internally (in those with the wisdom to hang them) and externally (to those hearts in the far reaches of the wind).

Last Sunday we gave the flags a place in our sitting group and added to their printed messages an infusion of our own words/thoughts/intentions of compassion. We ended our practice reciting aloud together the following words of compassion — towards specific individuals in our lives, to groups of people in the world, to ourselves, to all beings who are suffering:

I know your (my) pain
I care about your pain
May you be free from suffering

May you feel cared for and supported
May you be comforted and healed
May you be surrounded by kindness

Peace and best wishes,

Doreen

I have in front of me words from the Dalai Lama. It was given to me several years ago by a friend and sangha member. The quote was given to her by a friend. Here it is:

“Never give up. No matter what is going on. Never give up. Develop the heart. Too much energy in your country is spent developing the mind instead of the heart.
“Be compassionate: not just to your friends, but to everyone.

“Be compassionate. Work for peace – in your heart and in the world. Work for peace.

“And I say again; never give up. No matter what is happening. No matter what is going on around you. Never give up.”

The other night I saw part of the Golden Globe Awards on TV. When Meryl Streep accepted the prize for best actress in a comedy (Julia and Julie), she gave an unpolished speech about how hard it was for her, in light of the devastation in Haiti, to “put on her Hollywood clothes and her Hollywood smile” to show up at this glitzy event. She heard her deceased mother’s voice saying essentially to act: to get on the internet and send off money to Partners in Health to help the people in Haiti and then to gussy herself up and get on the plane to California. Unlike her mother, Meryl said she was given to thoughts of “gloom and doom,” but she was inspired nevertheless to continue.

I used to have a quote on my refrigerator from a version of the Dhammapada: “Live in joy even among the afflicted.” Tonight I saw on the news the miracle of a team of San Francisco firefighters rescuing a woman in Haiti who had been trapped under the rubble of her home for days. She was singing. There was much rejoicing.
The Buddha purportedly did not answer questions about origin. He claimed that questions such as Why did this earthquake have to happen to a country so impoverished already? Why are these people suffering so greatly? will lead only to misunderstanding and more suffering. We are, instead, encouraged to step towards the situation – whether it be one of devastation or opulence – to see what we see, to feel what we feel, and to do what we can authentically and wisely do to work for peace – in our hearts and in the world. “Mindfulness leads to life; while heedless avoidance leads to death,” says the Buddha in the Dhammapada.

This truth applies on both a global and a local/personal level. Last weekend approximately 20 Valley Insight members gathered at AVA Gallery in Lebanon for our monthly sit. In sub-zero temperatures we shared what one person there referred to as the “warmth of the Dhamma.” In our silent practice, as well as in our discussion and our consideration of the teachings on the Five Aggregates of Clinging, we supported one another in the personal effort to move towards what is actually happening in our lives with curiosity and interest. We increasingly know and trust this as a way to cultivate freedom as well as wise, compassionate action towards ourselves and others. I shared how the momentum of my own life had been challenged recently after a minor surgery. The fears and doubts which arose were transformed, when acknowledged, from blocks to the body’s healing into insights, which could begin to wisely shape recovery.

A friend, who had been involved in relief work in Haiti this past summer, wrote that he was one who believes that small actions matter in light of the large sufferings of this world. Yes. It doesn’t mean that things will work out as we might wish or expect; it means that we can be in relationship with what is – be it despair or enthusiasm – with a growing resiliency and joy.

“Keep calmly knowing change.”

“Never give up.”

Peace and best wishes,

Doreen

On my wall calendar’s page for December, under the photograph of the snow covered wolf, is a quote from John Muir:

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, one finds it attached to the rest of the world.”

Is it a surprise to find John Muir, a naturalist, giving a teaching on karma? Probably not. He, like the Buddha, was teaching from his personal discovery of the laws of nature through careful and sustained observation of direct experience. The Buddha’s Dhamma (Dharma, in Sanskrit) refers to and builds upon this realization of connection, the underlying patterns or laws of “the way things really are.” The teachings on Kamma (Karma in Sanskrit) speak about the fact of our relatedness in this conditioned world we share.

“There is a connectedness, an intentional connectedness, that comes through our actions. These are kamma connections. Now, we in the West often have problems with the teachings on kamma, which may be why we want the teachings on connectedness without the kamma. So we go looking elsewhere in the Buddha’s teachings to find a rationale or a basis for a teaching on connectedness, but the real basis for a sense of connectedness comes through kamma. When you interact with another person, a connection is made.” (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)

Wise understanding is the first factor in the 8-fold path. It has two parts: 1) what we do in this world has an effect in this world and we cannot know exactly what the effect of our action will be because 2) in the conditioned world (which is the context of our actions) everything is changing all the time; suffering (unsatisfactoriness, incompleteness, stress, anguish, loss) is a possibility always; and there is no one running the show (emptiness or no self).

So what do we do? The other seven factors of the Eight-fold path answer this question. The following reworking of the five precepts done by IMS teacher Amitra Schmidt (and brought to us by Claire Stanley at the retreat she and Jack Millet guided in November) is a simple and lovely way to present the path and to practice wise kamma.

“Knowing how deeply our lives intertwine, I vow to protect life.

“Knowing how deeply our lives intertwine, I vow to practice generosity.

“Knowing how deeply our lives intertwine, I vow to be respectful with my sexuality.

“Knowing how deeply our lives intertwine, I vow to speak what is true, useful and kind.

“Knowing how deeply our lives intertwine, I vow to practice clarity of mind and openness of heart.

Perhaps each of us in the sangha could take on the practice of reciting and living towards the above verses daily for the next few weeks as we collectively pass through the dark time and the ending of 2009 into the into the freshness of 2010 with the likely, seasonal return of light.

…And, if we do this, let’s also keep in mind this advice from the teachings: Don’t be attached to outcome! Just show up with the practice, keep paying attention and calmly know change.

Just as the world is changing, Valley Insight Meditation Society, too, is evolving. This past Sunday’s monthly Sangha gathering at AVA Gallery in Lebanon was attended by over 20 people: some from our Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday groups as well as community members from the farther reaches of VT and NH. A number of members of the Board of Directors, who so ably guide us, were there.

Somewhat inspired by being far along into the cultural season of giving and receiving, our contemplations, reflections and meditative time were framed by the working title of the gathering: The Ties that Bind Us: Generosity and the 4 Brahma Viharas. Kamma Part I.

In a wonderful article on generosity by Thanissaro Bhikkhu, the section quoted above continues:

“When you interact with another person, a connection is made. Now, it can be a positive or negative connection depending on the intention. With generosity you create a positive connection, a helpful connection, a connection where you’re glad that the boundary is down, a connection where good things can flow back and forth…

“You create the world in which you live through your actions. By being generous – not only with material things but also with your time, your energy, your forgiveness, your willingness to be fair and just with other people – you create a good world in which to live.”

Generosity creates good kamma. So do other “wholesome” mind states give birth to wise, kind actions, actions that can support our own happiness as well as that of others. Four of these states (There are way more than 5 kinds of positive interactions and you might want to reflect on what some others might be.) are called, collectively, the four Brahma Viharas. These two words can be translated as “divine abodes” or “heavenly homes”: more simply put, they are places of safe and happy refuge for the mind. The four are Metta (loving kindness or friendliness, good will), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (appreciative joy) and Uppekkha (equanimity). I will write more about them at another time. In the meantime, I refer you to Sharon Salzberg’s wonderful books on the subject: LOVINGKINDNESS – THE REVOLUTIONARY ART OF HAPPINESS and THE FORCE OF KINDNESS.

From a Buddhist point of view, our relationship with ourselves is also always an interaction. Our practice is, in a sense, a joining with and befriending of ourselves as well as the world. Here are Metta words from the Buddha to inspire us to “continue with care” in our relations with the both the internal and external experiences of the world:

“In traversing all directions with the mind, you will never find anyone more deserving of your love than yourself. It is the same for everyone. Hence, one who truly loves her or himself will never harm another.” (Udana 5.1)

In this light, perhaps the Buddha might paraphrase John Muir’s words at the beginning of this essay: “When one loves a single thing in nature, one finds oneself connected to the rest of the world.”

Peace and best wishes,

Doreen

A number of people have suggested we include in the newsletter a copy of this recent article I wrote for the Valley news on caring for my mother. I’ll lead into it below with a section that was cut from the published version.

Peace and best wishes to you all,

Doreen

Change is what we can know in life. The brilliant fall colors are fading again in the Upper Valley. We suspect what will come. We have already been hearing whispers of the great change: the cooler nights: the darker afternoons: the lower cut of light which highlights odd parts of objects and certain individual moments. When does the change which takes us by surprise and knocks us off our feet begin? Can we be here for the process as it unfolds before our eyes, not really knowing what the outcome will be?

Seasonal change has a certain predictablity, though the recent summer has awakened us to the fact that there is also an uncertainty to even the most easily expected and desired aspects of life. Living with my elderly mother has lifted me undeniably into the lap of uncertainty…

MY MOTHER, MYSELF: TOGETHER TO THE END

It was Labor Day evening and just getting dark. We’d been out for our last serving of the year at Dairy Twirl — our neighborhood soft-serve ice cream spot — on its closing night. I was helping my 92-year-old mother up the three steps to our back door when she began to teeter. With one of my hands in one of hers and the other on her back, I steadied her. We laughed and teased about the neighbors seeing us coming in “drunk again.” She stumbled a second time. The third time we lost her ongoing contest with gravity, and both went down. She landed softly in my arms.

This is what I am doing these days, easing my mom’s fall: through aging, illness and, eventually, her death. She came to live with me last summer after three weeks in a hospital near her home in New Jersey, where she had lived in senior housing for many years. She had sepsis, a full body infection of undetermined origin. After several near-death episodes, she recovered enough to be transferred to a nursing home rehab center. There she began the arduous work of regaining the basic functions of mobility and self-care. She had reluctance at first, saying that death would be easier; wondering, with some fear, why she had survived.

On Aug. 2, 2008, my mother moved in with me in Lebanon, leaving her familiar Jersey home behind. I marveled at her courage as we drove north. I marvel still.

Living with my elderly mother has lifted me undeniably into the lap of uncertainty. What seems for a moment like a slow, steady strengthening becomes, quite quickly, a trip to the emergency room due to dehydration and kidney problems. Laughter and brightness become nausea. Languishing in bed is followed by a return to doing dishes and folding the laundry. Through it all, I feel honored to be getting to know this woman, with her strong, steady sense of humor, in a new, grown-up way. There is a growing sense of solidarity as we walk the path together.

I find refuge in my practice and study of Buddhism; and I am increasingly grateful for these words from the monk Analayo: “Keep calmly knowing change.” The phrase has become a steady refrain in my day-to-day survival. To keep the words alive, I have been reflecting on and practicing with what is meant by “knowing”. The knowing that is most helpful for me includes the qualities of interest and effort, spaciousness and steadiness, compassion and kindness, relaxation, generosity and gratitude. This kind of knowing supports gentleness and awe. It supports relationship — connection and reconnection. This is so important as I balance my mother’s care with wise choices and respect for her autonomy. It helps me to live the answer to the question posed in the following reflection from classical Buddhist texts: “Only death is certain and the time of death is uncertain. What shall I do?”

I have found support in this call towards wise and compassionate action outside the Buddhist tradition as well. When my mother reached the Merry Heart Nursing Home Rehab Center, I had a chance to read Upper Valley author Dennis McCullough’s book MY MOTHER/YOUR MOTHER. The book was helpful. The information in it aided us in making thoughtful decisions about her care, and the stories began to settle me emotionally into the journey. Dennis’s strong suggestions about creating a “circle of caring” have guided me.

Sitting at the foot of the steps with my mother in my lap on that recent Labor Day night, I saw that our upstairs neighbors were home; and after easing my mom to the ground, I called to them. It is our good fortune that they are both intensive care nurses. They came down, lifted her easily, helped us to the kitchen, and checked to see that we were both okay. Miraculously, we were, having suffered none of the bruises or hairline fractures which had followed other falls.

My mother and I could not be traveling this path this alone. I know it takes a community to soften a mother’s fall. This article could be a simple listing of all you in the Upper Valley and beyond who support us. All the allotted words could be taken by naming you: NJ brother and sister-in-law, our loyal helper from the Senior Center, family far and wide, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses, aides, physical therapists, professional and non-professional caregivers; the personnel of agencies and institutions, as well as the shopkeepers and ice cream servers, acquaintances and kind strangers. Neither my mother nor I could do this without you, and we both offer you now a deep bow of gratitude.

As you who have cared for a sick or aging loved know first-hand, it is very difficult work – physically and emotionally. I saw a film this past year in a wonderful caregivers’ support group series offered by the DHMC Department of Aging and the Grafton County Senior Center. It graphically portrayed the deterioration of a woman as she cared for her husband who had dementia. The film suggested ways for caregivers to, not only survive in tact, but also to thrive.

Often my mom and I are thriving, but not always. Sometimes I wonder if I am breaking her fall, or instead being brought down along with her. That, I know, is somewhat up to me, but not exclusively. There is an element of risk: to me, it is worth taking. Caring for my mother is not just one of the most important things I have ever done; surprisingly, I can also say this is one of the happiest times of my life.

Twenty-eight of us attended the first Sunday morning gathering this past weekend. It was lovely to sit and walk in meditation together and to share the Dhamma. Thanks to all of those who attended: for the active, alive “loving kindness,” which shined so clearly in all your faces and hearts. I deeply appreciate the fine celebration and tribute. This morning I read the following words in the descriptive section of the Summer edition of INSIGHT JOURNAL I thought of us, Valley Insight Meditation Society, and of our energetic commitment to practicing and studying Dhamma together.

“Insight involves an intuition of mind and heart that takes us beyond knowledge toward wisdom. It has to do with deeply understanding the nature of things, rather then with knowing a lot about them.

“In the Buddhist tradition, wisdom is nurtured by the deep investigation of experience. This involves the careful integration of both study and practice – the study of dharma (the Buddha’s teachings) coupled with the practice of meditation.”

I offer a deep bow of gratitude to all of you, especially for the returning of attention, again and again, to the present moment. “The cup of mindfulness and compassion is filled drop by drop, moment by moment;” and we are doing it together.

Peace and best wishes,

Doreen