By Subha Srinivasan

(Edited from talk given at Vesak Day, May, 2024)

Growing up in India, I was familiar from a young age with the story of the Buddha, and I have found it inspiring. From what we learn in the early stories, the Buddha was born as Prince Siddhartha Gautama in Lumbini, located in southern Nepal. Around the time he was born, the King was told that his son would either become a great king or a great spiritual leader. The King decided to protect his son from the challenges of life––anything that could take Siddhartha down the spiritual path. The prince grew up in a protected life of luxury and comfort; but there came a time when he became curious as to what lay beyond the palace grounds. He made four significant trips with his charioteer, Channa: the trips exposed him to sickness, old age, death, and a spiritual seeker. Gautama felt samvega, sometimes translated as spiritual urgency or resolve (see note at the end of this essay), which led him to leave home and his family to seek freedom, for them and for himself, from the endless cycles of birth and death. After more than six years of austere practices, Gautama was close to death when the question occurred to him, Could there be another path to awakening?

Here I shall quote from the Sangaarava Sutta, translated by Bhikkhu Sujato (MN 100). In reflecting back on the process of his awakening, the Buddha begins with a memory from his childhood:

Then it occurred to me, ‘I recall sitting in the cool shade of the rose-apple tree while my father the Sakyan was off working. Quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unskillful qualities, I entered and remained in the first absorption, which has the rapture and bliss born of seclusion, while placing the mind and keeping it connected. Could that be the path to awakening?’ Stemming from that memory came the realization: ‘That is the path to awakening!’

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why am I afraid of that pleasure, for it has nothing to do with sensual pleasures or unskillful qualities?’ I thought, ‘I’m not afraid of that pleasure, for it has nothing to do with sensual pleasures or unskillful qualities.’

Then it occurred to me, ‘I can’t achieve that pleasure with a body so excessively emaciated. Why don’t I eat some solid food, some rice and porridge?’ So I ate some solid food.

After eating solid food and gathering my strength, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unskillful qualities, I entered and remained in the first absorption . . . As the placing of the mind and keeping it connected were stilled, I entered and remained in the second absorption . . . third absorption . . . fourth absorption.’

The rest, many of us know, is history. Gautama ate some porridge offered to him, and touched deeply by the generosity of receiving the food and by his samvega, he sat under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya. And after many nights of sitting, on the full moon in the month of Vesak, he became the Buddha, the awakened one.

The image of the cool shade of the rose apple tree gives us a glimpse of the kind of pleasure and contentment that can come from a calm and concentrated mind. This kind of pleasure, one that “has nothing to do with sensual pleasures or unskillful qualities” inspires us to continue to walking the path. Through practice, we come to see that when the mind is relaxed, it is naturally concentrated. One teacher described it this way: “Relaxation is a necessary, but not sufficient condition to awakening.” Speaking from my own experience, cultivating the qualities of relaxation, through loving kindness (metta) and Insight Dialogue guidelines, has been significant in my practice. I came into vipassana practice with a lot of judgment and an agenda; practicing softening and loving kindness has helped break the hard shell of my heart to reveal more and more moments of what is timeless, always present, infinite, and spacious.

So I invite you now to pause: to establish mindfulness of the body, to turn your attention inwards and take some moments to reflect on a time in your life when you have experienced a relaxed state of mind, free from clinging or craving, abiding naturally in the awakening factors of mindfulness, curiosity, contentment, tranquility. As you recall the experience, what is the felt experience in the body? In the mind? I invite you at this moment to receive the gift of your very own rose apple tree.

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Note: In Thanissaro Bhikkhu’s essay titled Affirming the Truths of the Heart: The Buddhist Teachings on Samvega & Pasadameaninglessness, he writes about the meaning of samvega: “It’s a hard word to translate because it covers such a complex range––at least three clusters of feelings at once: the oppressive sense of shock, dismay, and alienation that come with realizing the futility and meaninglessness of life as it’s normally lived; a chastening sense of our own complacency and foolishness in having let ourselves live so blindly; and an anxious sense of urgency in trying to find a way out of the meaningless cycle.”